Deeta- Week 14- ASB Ain't Jack

ASB AIN'T JACK

At around this same time last semester, I wrote a blog about how much I loved ASB. But a lot has happened since then, so in this blog, I feel like I have the liberty to share the downsides of it.

    I grew up loving the concept of being a leader. Being elected multiple times, to young naive Deeta, looked like a sign that this was what I was meant to do. It felt like I had found my purpose and I genuinely loved doing what I did.

    I continued to take on Leadership positions once I got to high school. I threw myself all in and even though I faced setbacks here and there, I found myself still loving whatever I ended up doing. But this all changed this year. This year I was constantly overworked by ASB, so much so that I have often missed assignments in my classes and I haven't slept more than 4-5 hours in months. I literally sacrificed my GPA, my sleep, my mental health, and even time with the people I love just to be the best "leader" possible. Even after all this sacrifice and work, I was still often dismissed and underappreciated. Obviously, I did not do what I did for the credit, but having people say I don't work enough even after all I did sucked. I felt like I didn't get much respect for my work and this feeling was reflected when I lost/didn't get selected for multiple ASB positions back to back. And just yesterday, I found out that I wasn't selected to be in Leadership/ASB at all. This deemed all my work from the past 6 years or so completely useless. All I had worked for was gone and I just feel hatred towards ASB, my friends in ASB, and any work I did in ASB. I don't even enjoy drawing and graphic design anymore, as ASB ruined it for me.

    So why do I still wish I was doing ASB if I didn't even feel appreciated or content doing it? I think it was a. because I genuinely cared a lot, b. I liked being a part of something bigger than myself, c. I spent so much time on it and it defined a lot of my memories, d. I thought you have to be in ASB to be a leader. But after a lot of crying and reflection and more crying and a mental breakdown fueled room redesign at 4am, I have realized that being in ASB does not mean you are a leader. Similarly, one can be a leader while having absolutely nothing to do with ASB.

    So although some of you might consider me an ASB Kid (offensive), I'm here to tell you that ASB is so pointless and insignificant in the grand scheme of things and I hope my experiences serve as a lesson that memories don't define reality. To put it VERY nicely, ASB is not all that. Trust me.


Comments

  1. Sean WangApril 11, 2022 at 7:12 PM

    Hi Deeta,

    Kind of unrelated, but I genuinely want to see your redesigned room. In terms of artistic detail, you have one of the (if not the best) eyes for design. I recall you doing a room tour back in sophomore year, and it honestly looked hotter than some of the IKEA demos.

    I'm glad you found an answer in your self-reflection. If it means anything to you, I find your productivity and charisma way more inspiring than your positions in ASB. It takes guts and serious energy to be as outgoing as you, and I would be lying if I said I didn't learn from the things you did.

    Don't stress. Regardless of what people think of you, I see you as someone that can definitely make it as a leader in life. It shouldn't be up to someone else. Cheers, mate.

    Sincerely,

    Sean Wang

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anwika PalleApril 12, 2022 at 10:45 PM

    Hi Deeta,

    I'm glad you decided to share this topic with us, because as I'm sure, it may have been hard to hear the difficult news and I find it very brave of you to speak about it. In all reality, you are one of the most passionate people I know, regarding leadership and other aspects of life. It seems to me that you have already made reflections on the past you've had with ASB and the concept of leadership in general. And I wholeheartedly agree that you do not need to attend a class to represent that. However, all the work you have put into leadership will not be erased from here on out, and that will always be a memory of the tremendous efforts you put into something that you loved at one point (and still possibly do). I admire that through this obstacle in your path, you are able to look on the bright side and reflect on it, and I know you can achieve great things, with or without ASB.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Faith QiaoApril 13, 2022 at 7:32 AM

    It really must suck, and I totally get why you feel invalidated by the decision. However, I wouldn't say all that time went to waste. The six years that you spent working hard and bringing the school spirit to life wasn’t for nothing. I know that you sacrificed a lot for it, but those things don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I was talking to my counselor about this—how high school was meaningless besides the fact that it is the avenue to college. She refuted me, and I don’t know if I truly embrace what she said—cherish the people and relax so you can reflect. It has to suck to know that you gave up so much only to not receive what you wanted in return; however, there will always be an opportunity waiting for you—be prepared to see it and grasp that opportunity. When you have it in your hands, remember your losses and remember what you can do to prevent it from happening again.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sierra DellenbaughApril 13, 2022 at 5:24 PM

    Hey Deeta, I never realized how toxic ASB could be; I guess I've only ever seen the surface. I was so shocked when I heard that you didn't win for ASB president; I loved how you went about your campaign and I knew you would be the perfect candidate. I remember a few times this year when you came to class late, looking absolutely exhausted, and it was almost always because of leadership activities. Although it was really messed up for them to treat you that way, I'm glad that you won't have to deal with that all over again next year. I'm really glad that you felt comfortable talking about this; thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sophie Minh Thy C NguyenApril 13, 2022 at 7:24 PM

    Hi Deeta,
    I have always had my thoughts about ASB, and I've heard about my friends' experiences working with them as well. My friend went through something similar to you. They sacrificed their mental health, sleep, and energy to help out ASB to do a job that wasn't even what they signed up for. It broke my heart watching them struggle for a period of time. I'm glad you have come to a point where you realize ASB isn't entirely worth your time or energy, especially if you've thought that for most of your life. It gives you the opportunity to explore other things (you probably have already) but also just have better sleep and such.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Krish ParikhApril 13, 2022 at 8:41 PM

    Hi Deeta,

    It hurts to put so much time and effort into something only to see it go to waste. Believe me, I've been there. But there is always a positive side to every negative experience, and in your case, it must be that you have learned so much from your time in ASB. I think regardless of whether you take a class titled "Leadership," you are one of the most charismatic and empathetic individuals I know, and you can certainly be a great leader. Deeta, don't forget to hold your head up high!

    Sincerely,
    Krish

    ReplyDelete
  7. RaymondApril 13, 2022 at 8:46 PM

    Hi Deeta,
    I am sorry for your toxic experiences at ASB. The time and effort you spent on it definitely wasn't wasted, since those experiences have helped build you into the person you are today. The friends you made at ASB aren't gone and they still are your friends. The work that you put into ASB has made you a better leader. It hasn't been wasted. As for art, if ASB has given you bad feelings about a particular type of art, you can choose to work on another style of art if that is what you are passionate about or interested in. You are right that ASB is not much in the grand scheme of things. This could just be the chance at another, greater opportunity.
    Sincerely,
    Raymond Yu

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yi-Kuan CApril 13, 2022 at 9:00 PM

    Deeta Ganapathy,

    You better shut your mouth with the "it was all for nothing" bs. Deeta you are by far the most charismatic and agreeable person I have ever met. You can get along with literally anybody and have the smoothest conversations. And your graphic designing abilities, man. The entire aesthetic of your drawings are so incredibly sick. The effort that you put into your work is perpetually incredible, and if ASB has at all helped you build your wonderful forte of skills, then it most definitely was not for nothing. I am so sad to hear that you won't be joining my first year of leadership, but if ASB can't see you for your incredible talent and irreplaceable work ethic, they don't f*cking deserve you anyways. You will go on to do greater things, Deeta, because you have passion--stronger passion than anyone else even dares to muster. That passion will take you far, far, far beyond some stupid high school student body.

    Yi-Kuan C.

    ReplyDelete
  9. VivanApril 13, 2022 at 9:59 PM

    Hi Deeta,

    This thing about "it was all for nothing" is never actually true. I remember, back as a Freshman, I was usually the leader of every group project I was in, but then during zoom school, I thought "was it all for nothing?" I found my answer this year: it was not. I am going to apply for section leader in Marching Band, and if I get accepted, my work would not have gone to waste at all.

    Sincerely,
    Vivan Waghela

    ReplyDelete

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