Faith Qiao Week 11—Apologies

Faith Qiao 

Ms. Benedetti

English 11AP

2 March 2022

Apologies

I think it’s already more than apparent the amount of power that language holds over all of us—in fact, there’s really no nuance to elaborating on this topic too much. But I promised a special someone that I wouldn’t gamble on my disappearing English grade, so I’ve chosen to discuss the magic of apologies.

I had a dark period in my life spanning the tender ages of 10-12. I was strangely sexist and couldn’t stand it when any boy would touch me, and I was so disgusted that I went around demanding apologies because I couldn’t shake the feeling that the touches were still on me. The primary victim of this phase in my life was my younger brother who was 8 when this all started. If he, so much as, touched me, I’d snarl and make him stand there and apologize until I was satisfied.

It started with the simple phrase of “I’m sorry.” But the repeated offenses against elementary school Faith escalated the apology to “I’m sorry and I’ll never do it again.” What’s even funnier was the fact that I had forced my little brother to do accompanying hand motions where he’d point to himself as he said the words “I’m sorry” and then direct his finger at me when he spoke, “I’ll never do it again.” This torture lasted a total of one and a half years, and he’d recite those lines at least 5 times per time he touched me.

The point of this blog isn’t to help my brother vent his furies nor describe the lowest point of my existence, but to illustrate just how much that apology meant. I stand by the fact that just the phrase “I’m sorry” can seemingly wipe away any wrongdoing—or at least that was the case for my fifth grade self. Imagine being slapped in the face and feeling the pain radiate from that one spot pulsating and swelling, but then it all just suddenly disappears. That is the power of “I’m sorry,” and I’ll do you a favor and ask you a question that you can answer in your comment: do you think so too? 


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Comments

  1. Sophie Minh Thy C NguyenMarch 8, 2022 at 11:07 AM

    Hi Faith,
    Earlier in this blogging quarter, I was also going to write a blog about the phrase, but I scrapped it because I didn't know how to word it. You did it very well by introducing the idea with a short story from your past. In my opinion I think of "I'm sorry" as more of a promise more than anything else. It is a sign of remorse, but for it to truly have meaning is for the person apologizing to make the effort to not make the same mistake again. So yes, the phrase does have the power of making that pain disappear, but its what the apologizing person does afterwards to express their regret.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sean WangMarch 9, 2022 at 10:50 AM

    Hi Faith,

    Contrary to your belief, I've grown to accept the opposite: that "I'm sorry" isn't enough to wash away wrongdoing. I'm not sure if I'm interpreting your blog correctly, but if your brother was truly sorry, he would not have continued his behaviour after the first time. I agree with Sophie's comment above; a person's actions determine their true colours. Speech is merely a farce in the grand scheme of things, and that's the sad thing about human nature.

    Sincerely,

    Sean Wang

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anwika PalleMarch 9, 2022 at 11:54 AM

    Hi Faith,
    Although my younger self would probably be satisfied with "I'm sorry," I've grown to realize how actions speak more than words. Wow. If we didn't have to change blog topics next week I would've undoubtedly written about how actions do speak more than words. Anyway, it's easy for anyone to say sorry. I'm sure you know this and everyone perceives words differently, but there have been many instances in my life when people say "sorry" and think that everything problematic has been wiped away. Of course, this only applies to issues that internally affect me. If someone accidentally threw an eraser at me or something, "sorry" would suffice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Krish ParikhMarch 9, 2022 at 1:56 PM

    Hi Faith,

    I disagree with your blog post. I don't think that the simple words "I'm sorry" can wipe away all harm caused. While the phrase indicates that you feel regret for your actions, that isn't always enough to excuse the damage created by your actions. If you inadvertently wiped out someone's life savings, would saying "I'm sorry" make that go away? Furthermore, if someone says "I'm sorry" often, that can tarnish its value and make it meaningless to say anymore.

    Sincerely,
    Krish

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yi-Kuan CMarch 9, 2022 at 4:38 PM

    Hi Faith,

    I wish with all my heart that I could agree with you. But deep down inside, I am an unbearably stubborn person...well kind of. To most people, I could not care less what anyone did to me. I always seemed to be feel indifferent by telling myself "eh, what this person says or does will never really matter to me." However, if anyone has the misfortune of being close to me and pushing my very specific buttons, they are in for a world of trouble. I seem to be unable to accept "I'm sorry" for repercussion. I feel as if the damage has already been done, and while I know that it is completely irrational, I refuse to accept a sorry if the damage is not repaired. So while I wish I could say the same as you, I am unfortunately the best grudge-holder this world has ever seen.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sierra DellenbaughMarch 9, 2022 at 8:16 PM

    Hey Faith, I don't think an apology can make any situation better. Unfortunately, nothing in life is that easy. Apologies can go both ways; someone can apologize to you in hope of making things better, and you can apologize to someone for the same reason. I've been in both situations, and I've found that apologizing to someone in hopes to make things better, only to have them reject it or not acknowledge it all hurt the most. I'm not quite sure why that is, but I'll try to look into it. This is a very interesting topic; thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  7. RaymondMarch 9, 2022 at 8:32 PM

    Hi Faith,
    It sounds like you had a pretty bad relationship with your brother when you were younger. I hope that your relationship has since improved, but I don't think that the phrase "I'm sorry" actually made you forgive your brother. I think that it was much more likely that you 'forgave' him, but still harbored a grudge since you kept reacting the same way every single time. If you had truly forgiven him, I think that saying it once would have been penance enough instead of the ritual you made him do, and you would have warned him the next time he came close to doing it again. You probably got more of a sense of satisfaction instead of a feeling of forgiveness. Of course, you are the one who truly knows yourself the most. Am I totally off the mark?
    Sincerely,
    Raymond Yu

    ReplyDelete
  8. VivanMarch 9, 2022 at 9:46 PM

    Hi Faith,

    I have never really heard of things like this before. It is strange to me that you would demand apologies for just a touch. I hope your relationship with your (younger?) brother is better now. To be honest though, If your brother was actually sorry then this would have only happened once, which is not the case. I would say that saying "I'm sorry" is not really enough, and maybe people say that just to make it look like they won't do it again.

    Sincerely,
    Vivan Waghela

    ReplyDelete
  9. DeetaMarch 11, 2022 at 4:38 PM

    Hey Faith!
    I personally have always been like you in the sense that I value apologies and I am quick to forgive people. But throughout this year especially, I have learned that sometimes an "I'm sorry" does not mean anything from the person except a way to brush past a conflict. As much as it is respectful to apologize, there is a limit to what it can pardon. If I were to bump into someone, a sorry is an adequate apology. On the other hand, if I genuinely and deliberately hurt someone that should not be excused with an apology. Using the same phrase, I'm sorry to hear that you and your brother did not have a great relationship. I hope it has gotten better because siblings are so important:)

    ReplyDelete

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