Faith Qiao Blog 10—Burn
Faith Qiao
Ms. Benedetti
English 11AP
2 February 2022
Burn
I was thinking about how to tie in Language and Power to my creative writing excerpts and I’ve come to the conclusion that because language stirs the imagination and imagination is power, me sharing these excerpts is testing the power that my writing holds in giving you guys the power of imagination. Hence, with every supposedly off-topic blog post I write this quarter, I’m excused.
I could feel the flames curling up my ankles like the snakes slithering up father's legs. But unlike the snake that glided steadily against father’s tanned skin, the fire seemed to gain momentum as if it’s dizzied gaze found fuel in every inch of skin it consumed.
A howling swarm of beetles, the large and fat ones, that buzzed like winter flies. Louder, LOUDER so loud that it plays like white noise behind the sound of a shrill scream. Father doesn’t move—but the cross wound around his neck seems to have loosened a knot.
Joan steadied in the fire as if embracing it, letting it embrace her. She played to it’s rhythm, never outshined it’s luster—she sang loud enough to overtake the humming beetles. But father never moved for her—the cross seemed to hang another knot lower.
The air was an ashen shade, the color and texture of suffocation. The winds carried with it a stench of fire, a scarring that ran as deep as the bones—it carved into the surface, leaving a trail from the shin to the hip bone decisively chafing between the tendons cutting at the tension.
*snap*
Take a guess and you're probably right, I wrote this blog in the dead of night. I’m trying to create the image of people burning at the stake and the name “Joan” references Joan of Arc. Father is god. Did you get that?
Hi Faith,
ReplyDeleteI found your short story to be masterful in the imagery it provides. I remember learning about Joan of Arc in my AP European History class, and I was fascinated by how she was able to use her conviction expressed through her language to lead a French army as just a teenage girl. Her very life is a testament to the power of language to move others and make them go so far as to risk their life for a nobody. I look forward to reading more of your creative works this quarter!
Sincerely,
Krish
Hi Faith,
ReplyDeleteI found this story to be interesting. I learned a little about Joan of Arc last year. I think the story of her being born as a peasant but working her way up to become the savior of France is an excellent depiction of power in and of itself. Her being burned at the stake for heresy realistically depicts a more specific position on the role women have with power.
Hi Faith,
ReplyDeleteDang, that shift in perspective is golden. Going from first person to third person to the setting itself --- it really captures the seemingly endless moment before death, where every little detail is noticed and time seems to flow as slow as molasses. I wonder if my interpretation of your story is correct: is Joan of Arc losing hope in God? Perhaps, in the last moment of her life, is she regretting her devotion and wishing that she did something else? I watched Death Note for the first time recently, and a similar scene appeared at the end of the show. Just wondering if a similarity lies there.
Sincerely,
Sean
Hi Faith,
ReplyDeleteI don't now anything about Joan of Arc (now that I think of it I have heard of this somewhere) or dead of night. The description that is used to describe the image shown in amazing.
Now I remember where I heard Joan of Arc from! I remember a small portion about her from French, and yea her story is truly fascinating. She is a great example of language and power.
Sincerely,
Vivan Waghela
Hey Faith, I absolutely loved this take on Joan of Arc's story. The way you write is so compelling and it feels like I'm there witnessing it for myself. I like how you justified your reasoning for sharing excerpts from your stories; there is most definitely power in imagination, and I love how demonstrate that. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Faith,
ReplyDeleteThe short story you wrote is very emotional in its language, but the actual story itself leaves the reader feeling slightly confused. It seems that you are making a Christian reference with the snake, but what does it actually represent? The snake in the Garden of Eden? The "beetles" are also slightly confusing. Do they represent the crowd of people watching? The scenes about the cross tied to Christ's neck are also slightly confusing since Jesus is traditionally represented as nailed to the cross by his hands and feet. The last scenes also have some misleading phrases, such as the "stench of fire" (perhaps something about the smell of burning?) since fire itself is not usually described as having a malicious odor. The last scenes about the injuries are also slightly confusing and strangely worded. It seems to be lacking a few commas and I don't think the subject-verb pairings are what you intended. I apologize for the scrutiny, but I think that the story has potential and definitely can be further refined. I hope you take my comments into consideration!
Sincerely,
Raymond Yu
Hi Faith,
ReplyDeleteMan your storytelling is absolutely immaculate. It is infinitely impressive how you are able to create such intricate imagery without going off track. You describe each action with the perfect amount of words, elaborate but not convoluted. My favorite part of this entry must be the Biblical allusion. I personally was wondering who the aforementioned "father" was, so it was a very satisfying "aha!" moment when it was revealed to me. Please keep writing these excerpts; they're always a treat to read.
Hi Faith,
ReplyDeleteI have also come to the conclusion that we can write any story or off topic post we can think of and it would be excused as long as a connection is made to the topic, since our words hold power. I really like the paragraph where Joan is "keeping the rhythm" of the fire and embracing it. It is a beautiful way to convey her emotions and opinion on the situation. As she has accepted her fate, she knows what she did is right even though other people may not agree with her. Thus, making her a true martyr.
Hey Faith!
ReplyDeleteIt was so interesting to read your post as I have never seen a post written from a third-person perspective. It was a really interesting take on the power language holds. By simply using words, you were able to bring an otherwise simple statement to life using imagery. Although I could not guess who it was, it was super cool to read; thank you for sharing:)